You should. This place is new and is the perfect example of it. I was pretty excited about this community when i found it in area 51. but i'm finding myself coming here less and less, and answering asking less and less. Because egos and attitude have ruined it already.


good luck keeping this place going.

and no, i don't just have my panties in a bunch because 2 guys downvoted one of my answers and wrote not so friendly comments on it. That was just the last straw.

  • 1
    I expect civility and respect on Stack Exchange regardless of who started what.
    – user15
    Commented Jul 26, 2012 at 3:19
  • 1
    Strike-through on respect as an expectation for me. Civility and decency; respect is earned, but being simply polite should be a given.
    – stslavik
    Commented Jul 31, 2012 at 18:03

4 Answers 4


Because egos and attitude have ruined it already

Heh, according to some this is resolved by more training :)

That was just the last straw.

What was annoying you before that?

I'm not sure exactly what your issue really is - you've answered a good amount of questions and gained a respectable number of up votes from them. If you feel a comment is lacking in civility you can flag it for moderator attention.

You have to remember that there are a mixture of people here, from a mixture of backgrounds and nationalities. Everyone sees things differently and no matter how hard we try we each have to subconciously protect our patch - after all, we've spent countless hours training in what we do. This site is no different to the dojo (and real life) - you can spend a lot of time here but there will inevitably be one or two people you don't really care for. It's a measure of your character whether you can get over that and co-exist with them.

Stick round, help make the place better. Be part of the community. If you think it is opinionated and ego driven here, try saying something unpopular on Stack Overflow and see how fast the down votes accumulate!

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    It was more seeing other interactions and down votes for other people stuff. I've seen the stuff that happens on SO, been active there for 3 years. and it's something they are working on there to. I don't have a problem with people seeing things differently, but do it respectfully and don't downvote someone just because you don't know about their art and how it could help you with yours. Maybe i'm just having a bad day.
    – Patricia
    Commented Jul 24, 2012 at 14:59
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    @Patricia Definitely flag stuff if something is afoul. I'm sure we all have busy lives outside of the Stack Exchange network, so the best way to get the moderators' attention would be to flag something. We'll address those issues accordingly. On the whole, I do agree with you.
    – user15
    Commented Jul 24, 2012 at 15:07
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    i wish there was a way to flag bad down votes.
    – Patricia
    Commented Jul 24, 2012 at 15:12

Listen, you're right; there's a lot of ego tied up in places like this. It's partly by design (read some UX books on the psychology of gamification and you'll see that that's the sort of effect you get from sites like this).

You ask great questions, and I can feel your frustration – I find myself working more than spending time here on my off hours because I find work less frustrating! But the truth of it is that it's easy to throw up your hands and walk away. "Fine, it's your problem," you say, and go off to grumble to yourself about how mean people are. I know because I've had moments of it too.


There are people here who infuriate me to no end. But there are others who inspire me. If you feel the same way, I encourage you to do the same thing I do: yes, step back and spend less time, but come back because you want to check in on those questions and answers by those who pique your curiosity. Then, in your own small way, seek to make the quality of what you do higher, and ignore or do away with (as best you're capable) the low quality that you feel drags the site down: flag, down vote, or simply ignore.

Cheer up mate. It's going to get a lot worse before it gets better, but with hard work it will get better.

  • 2
    Think being a regular user is tough? Try being a moderator.
    – user15
    Commented Jul 24, 2012 at 17:35
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    I think it's not just ego. It's a self-selecting community. We, by definition, enjoy fighting. So you'll see more butting heads amongst groups of them. But, I suppose it's better to think of it as a friendly spar, where the goal is to learn, rather than a fight, where the goal is to win. Commented Jul 24, 2012 at 21:49
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    +1 for the image :)
    – slugster Mod
    Commented Jul 24, 2012 at 22:07

If you noticed, I retracted my comments and offered an apology.

However, I would also point that in some ways, I simply replied in kind. Your comment to me came across as condescending and belittling. I am only roughly familiar with the intricacies of judo, and I was unaware that you can drill that way (one armed) safely. You chose to reply to me as "Oh my god how dumb can you be?" with the italicized eye roll. I got irked and replied a bit heatedly. Maybe some of your answers/comments are being phrased to bring about these kinds of responses? (Note, I am not saying they are, I am simply going off of this instance and my perception. I'm not going to go stalk your old posts.) Since I deleted my comments, I can't say for sure, but I would not be surprised that if my initial comment was blunt as well, I sometimes don't come across very well as I tend to write as I think rather than think before writing. (Comes from programming for a living.)

I can say that I would have responded to your comments much differently if you had simply said something along the lines of "I wasn't suggesting that. For experienced judoka such as RobinAshe, there are ways to safely drill one armed."

And I can retract the downvote if you edit the post. :)

Edited to add: I would add my voice to the ones saying you shouldn't go, especially on the account of a 30 day n00b such as myself. Obviously by your status you are a valued contributor, and I may have been overzealous in my injury protection thinking. If you can teach the n00bs (as I am learning) then the culture can be changed as well.

Edited again: I keep reading this and it stills sounds a bit accusatory, and that is not my intention, it's more explanatory of my thinking process.

  • i'm not going to get into a he said she said who said what first battle. It's impossible to anyway since most of the offending comments have been removed. which is probably good, for the sake of the site. I've revised my post. I don't care if you leave the down vote. I'm not here to be a rep-whore.
    – Patricia
    Commented Jul 26, 2012 at 14:52
  • @Patricia - That wasn't my intention, really. I was just trying to explain, which is always hard in a text based format after the fact. I'm mainly trying to keep an experienced contributor here, and not be a contributor to the demise of a site.
    – JohnP Mod
    Commented Jul 26, 2012 at 14:55

Something to think about, for researched info, Bullshido is one of the best sources. And it started out explicitly as an incredibly antagonistic website. That got people who were insulted by the claims made by the founding members to come on to defend their styles, and when you have that much of a difference of opinion, heavy research starts. You'd have pages going in to a particularly contentious issue, but there would also be a lot of useful information there.

On the other hand, MA forums where everyone is friendly tend to be full of hot air and quite limited as far as useful content goes.

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